Dear Mr. Taxi Driver,

Thank you for picking me up on the side of the road and rescuing me from the waist-high snow drifts that promised to make me quite late for work this morning. For your future reference, please take note that I am an American. Unlike your country's customs (which the frugal Scottish blood in me has grown to appreciate), we Americans/foreigners are known to often add an attractive tip to our payment for services rendered. However, if you start our ride together by mocking and berating my work here and the beautiful children whom I have grown to know and love, understand that I will defend "my kids" to the death, and deny you your extra stotinki.

                                        Your's truly,

                                            Gospozhitse Katie