It's been awhile since I've bothered to write anything on here. Maybe it's because I've officially been back in the United States for longer than I was actually a United States Peace Corps Volunteer in Bulgaria, and I find that ridiculously frustrating. Crazy, huh?

Part of me feels like I'll be waking up in my cozy block apartment in Samokov tomorrow as if nothing ever happened, and the other part of me feels like those 6 months there never even happened. And that's a horrible way to feel when I gave up so much (and am continuing to do so) to be there. But I'm still convinced that's where I am supposed to be. I just need to figure out the best way to incorporate "6 months of HEALING" into my resume, so the first ever hiatus on my academic/job record doesn't look and feel so scary.

The month and a half or so since my 2 week trip to Greece and Bulgaria and my doctor's appointment have yielded a fair amount of unexcitement. I've been babysitting here and there, trying to catch up with friends, and being relatively unproductive. No big changes in my medical status (next appointment – the BIG ONE… aka the determining factor on my return to Bulgaria – is July 16^th), yet I haven't been authorized to really work yet. I am feeling pretty good for the most part, but my status with Peace Corps is in too much limbo to get a real job. Babysitting is picking up, and I have been able to reconnect with some old friends and make a few new ones, so even though it's the life I never thought I'd be living and prayerfully won't repeat, things have been ok.

The big news, is that I just got back from a week long vacation with my mom's dad and all his kids and grandkids (except Ryan and Becky – we missed you guys!). I am so not ashamed to say that the Disney Cruise was the best vacation I've ever had. Unlimited time with my little cuz crew, eating "out" at delicious onboard restaurants every night, drinks by the pool, amazing beaches, my first submarine ;), family time, and photo opps with Mickey, Goofy, and Chip & Dale. It was awesome.

And now, its home, to start working some more, helping to direct VBS this year, and distract myself enough from the eternal limbo I seem to have found myself in.

Great News!!

At my doctor's appointment yesterday (almost 5 months since the accident), my surgeon predicted that barring any unforeseen circumstances, he will probably clear me for service at my next visit in 8 weeks!!

Even to the untrained eye, my newest set of x-rays looked AMAZING. The huge gap that has existed since the surgery between a previously nonunion bone shard and my shin is almost entirely closed – huge progress since even the last appointment. He says at this point, I am probably close to 90% healed, and the other 10% will take some time since strengthening is such a huge part of the healing process. I impatiently waited for my doctor to leave the examining room so I could do a happy dance.

So, I've been in touch with the Peace Corps through email, and now I am waiting to hear if there is anything I can do now to start the reinstatement process back to my post, or if we need to wait until I get the official clearance in a couple months.

Regardless, my hope is to be back in Samokov by the end of September! And I'm thrilled. :)

My core group kids from NGO Svetlina!

Bulgaria!

The entire 7 days in Crete, not to mention a significant time before we even left the country, I spent in anxious anticipation about my brief return to Bulgaria. What if I couldn't remember any of the language? What if I realized that it wasn't where I was supposed to be for the next two years? What if it WAS where I want/am supposed to be, but the doctor deems my return impossible? I wasn't sure how people would react to our time there, being that I have officially been away from Samokov for longer than I served there.

When we landed at the airport in Sofia, I felt overwhelmed and nervous. More so than I thought I would...

But God worked in my heart incredibly quickly, and I have rarely felt as loved as I did throughout that week.

We spent the first couple of nights in Sofia hanging out with the American family that invited me over for holidays (yes, also the people who rescued me after my accident and let me camp out on their couch for a couple days!), and explored the capital a little bit. I got to catch up with some good friends, but the most encouraging part of the visit was stopping to grab some coffee with a few of my Peace Corps B-24 team members at Starbucks (yeah yeah, haha!) before my parents and I drove to Plovdiv for the night. Seeing as many volunteers as I did was a bit of a surprise, but it meant the world that so many were able to work out the timing and see me! Everyone tells you that your training groups will turn into your surrogate family for your time of service, and I can attest that it made my day to see them! They were so encouraging, and I loved hearing about their new projects and stories. Was definitely the beginning of a big heart change for me. At that point, I was still using the "IF I come back phrase" when I talked to them, but by the time we made it to my site in Samokov, things started to really come into focus.

We spent one night in the city of Plovdiv (very cool, very OLD city in south/central Bulgaria) where we ate some good food (and some not so good, ;P) and wandered around a bit to find the coliseaum and other arhaeological sites.

The next morning, we hopped in the car, got lost trying to find the road to Samokov - still don't know how we managed to miss it! - then finally headed over the mountain through Borovets and into my town. As soon as we parked the car in front of the basketball arena where I would go every other weekend or so to watch basketball games, I felt this huge relief. It felt SO GOOD and natural to take my parents to my apartment building, to point out my vegetable man (and my back up vegetable man) and various stores. We then drove through the town a bit and then got my parent's checked into their hotel.

Then we fell asleep.

All of the pent up anxiety hit me then! So we read and slept for awhile before meeting my two Bulgarian counterparts in the apartment for dinner. For the next few hours, we ate (sooo much food!), sipped on "domashna vino" (homemade wine), told stories, caught up, and LAUGHED. And wow, I haven't laughed that hard in a long time! The conversation ran so smoothly and everything was so natural, and my parents were beaming as we interacted with my "Bulgarian moms."

The next day we went to the Samokov market, satisfied my craving for Banitsa (a Bulgarian pastry with cheese and phyllo dough), and stocked up on goodies to take back to the US before heading over to the school to meet up with my kids.

As SOON as I walked into the schoolyard, I got a welcoming I had never expected: most of my core kids were outside in the school yard, and proceeded to charge at me and yell "Kaaatttiiieeeee." I got huge hugs, and then smiled on so proudly when they all introduced themselves to my parents IN ENGLISH!!! We went inside to talk to everyone, since happy birthday to one of my girls, have a guessing game about my parents (mom's in her 30s apparentls... and dad is 100!), and dole out American candy before dancing the Bulgarian horo and them playing outside with new footballs, frisbees, and basketballs that we had brought them.

Seeing these kids - MY KIDS - was definitely the last piece of the puzzle that helped remind me why I signed up for the Peace Corps in the first place, and why my heart broke when I had to leave so suddenly. I experienced a couple of months of frustration before my accident as I struggled to find my role, but being there again solidifyed it in my heart that I want to do what it takes to go back. And now I have a specific desire so I can pray discerningly, and I ask you do the same. :)

My beautiful Rila mountains, still covered in snow at the end of April! There was a good few inches on the ground in Samokov the morning we got there, but it quickly melted away in the Spring sun.

The kids were excited to teach my parents the Bulgarian horo, and were amazed when they already knew the step! They did cheat... its the same step they learned on Crete the week before! Shhhh, don't tell.

On our way back from Samokov, we stopped to see my host parents for a little "na gosti" in my training village. It was so great to see them! We ate a delicious Bulgarian meal, met all the new animal babies (including three day old kittens!), and then took a quick walking tour of Kraynitsi before before returning for coffee and saying our goodbyes. I was so glad it worked out to see them, and even more relieved that although my Bulgarian hasn't improved in the last 4 and a half months, I was still able to communicate clearly and translate for my parents.

Svetla and Kiril!

Beautiful Crete!

We have been home from vacation for a week already! It's funny, normally we spend a week at the beach somewhere, and it is NEVER enough time! This trip to Greece and Bulgaria was such a whirlwind, but I was soooo relieved to be home by the end of our 2 week excursion.

Exhaustion aside, though, the whole thing was absolutely incredible.

After THREE connecting flights to get there, we spent the first week on the island of Crete, and I have decided that it is a perfect vacation spot. For a girl who is torn between the side of her that wants to be a city girl and the side that wants to move to the mountains and own a goat, it is an ideal location. You have developed cities along the coastline, but as you travel inland or up into the mountains, you pass through tiny, beautiful villages (goats, good food, and all!).

We spent one day by the pool, but aside from that, most of the week was spent exploring local villages, taking drives, getting fed by the locals (yummmmm) and enjoying the beautiful country side.

The weather while we were there was extremely mild. I spent most of it in jeans and short sleeve tshirts, but enjoyed the occasional crisp breeze. The sun was ALWAYS out, but it was fun to see the snow capped mountains as we drove through the windy back roads.

I loved that the music and dancing native to Crete and Greece was so familiar after my time in Bulgaria. We attended the Cretan Meal and Entertainment our first night at the hotel, but on our day by the pool I was able to snap some better pictures of the dancing.

Although I probably shouldn't have pushed myself :), we SLOWLY hiked up to the cave where Zeus was born (its true!!), and immediately got offered a "taxi ride." I'll admit! It was very tempting!

We spent one evening out on the coast line sipping on drinks as the lone customer at a little tiki bar, patiently waiting for the sun to set over the coastal ridgeline. GORGEOUS!

More to come about the second leg on our trip to Bulgaria!

For my Christmas present (a mere two days before my accident), my parents sent me a "gift certificate" for a week in Crete, Greece, followed by a few days as tour guide around my town in Samokov.

When everything changed after a few hours of skiing, it became apparent that I would no longer be in Bulgaria when this spring vacation arrived. Instead of canceling the trip altogether, we decided to hold out and see if I would be feeling well enough to still travel.

After a few months of frustration and waiting with bated breath, we leave for two weeks TODAY!

I never even got to go back to my apartment after the accident, so I sure didn't get to say goodbye to anyone. If I manage to heal 100% and return to my post within the next 9 months or so to finish my service with the Peace Corps, then my parents will have gotten to meet some of my friends, coworkers and children over there, and if God has other plans and ushers me in another direction, then at least they will have gotten to see a little bit of what I was blessed with for 5 and a half months.

No matter what, this is going to be a relaxing vacation complete with some more healing and family time, and a great chance to play tour guide with my parents in a country I miss desperately.

Hopefully, though, I will be able to remember enough Bulgarian to help my non-Bulgarian speaking parents and non-English speaking friends communicate on some level!

Довиждане за сега!

Camp Project for NGO Svetlina (Samokov, Bulgaria)

Dear friends and family,

    First of all, I want to thank you for your fervent prayer and support as I continue to heal after my skiing accident in late December. It breaks my heart that my work in Bulgaria with the United States Peace Corps was brought to such an abrupt end, and my hope is that even if my path does not lead back to Association Svetlina in Samokov, Bulgaria within the next year, I can still find a way to be a source of encouragement for the children and my Bulgarian and Peace Corps friends there.

    During my short time in the small Eastern European country of Bulgaria, I served as a youth development volunteer and focused on efforts of integration and empowerment among underrepresented youth from high-risk environments. More specifically, I was hosted by a progressive non-governmental organization run by two Bulgarian women with a heart for Roma/Gypsy youth. Each day after school, we lead English, art, and Bulgarian lessons, environmental appreciation activities, game days, and sporting endeavors. Many of the Roma youth drop out of school by the time they reach high school, and marry and start a family soon thereafter, and Association Svetlina encourages academic and social achievement while still aiming to preserve Roma culture.

    My biggest concern after my accident was that the staff at my organization would be unable, due to language barriers, to write the grant to receive funding for our yearly summer camp. "Camp Together We Can Do More," is run entirely by Association Svetlina, and breaches cultural road blocks by inviting equal numbers of Bulgarian and Roma youth to work, learn, and play together for ten days on the Black Sea. Summer camp is a relatively new idea in Bulgaria, not to mention the concept of integrating youths from both ethnic backgrounds is essentially unheard of, and I was greatly anticipating the opportunity to watch the walls of ethnic tension continue to crumble. Another volunteer from a neighboring village in Bulgaria had helped with Association Svetlina's summer camp last year, and she volunteered to assist with the grant writing process when I became unable.

    Even though I will not be able to assist directly with "Camp Together We Can Do More," I would like to do whatever I can to assist the children of Samokov in whatever capacity I am able. For now, this means extending to you the opportunity to become financially and prayerfully invested in this summer program by visiting the following website: https://www.peacecorps.gov/index.cfm?shell=resources.donors.contribute.projDetail&projdesc=313-120

Donating through the Peace Corps website allows your contribution to go straight to supporting "Camp Together We Can Do More," and is tax-deductible. Thank you so much for supporting me so faithfully through your thoughts and prayers, but on behalf of the children and staff of Association Svetlina, thank you for your support of social development in Samokov and Bulgaria at large.

 

Katie Filkins
(On Behalf of NGO Svetlina)