It's been a year since my "little" tumble down the mountain here in Maliovitsa (and yes, I realize I seem to be rather found of these "anniversary" posts...), and I'm in absolute awe of how surreal this past year has been. I never take the easy route in doing anything, and I also don't do anything half way... so when you take those two characteristics of my being and put them together, there shouldn't be any doubt in how intense things have been since I broke my leg. Pretty soon after I got home last year, people started asking me if I had any idea why God would have allowed the accident to happen - why He would have pulled me from my work here in Samokov just when I was beginning to feel as though He was changing my heart and helping me be passionate and excited about life as a PCV here. For the longest time, that question angered me and I didn't want to think about it. I was MAD at the circumstances - and especially the timing. I had asked God to either make it clear that Bulgaria was where I was supposed to be (as opposed to drawing out the time before I could return back to inner city USA) by changing my heart, or give me some undeniable sign that I should pack my bags. As it turns out, it appeared that I received BOTH answers to prayer - and NOT AT ALL how I would have requested them to be answered. You would think I'd figure it out by now that God has a way better grasp on my life than I do... but it took me months to be able to surrender all that and find peace in my situation. I then decided that if God took a leg that wasn't healing and healed it within the time frame that PC was giving me, AND if my doctor cleared me to go, I had no choice but to return to the journey God had called me on in July off 2008. As it turned out, after months and months with a rather serious non-union fracture, I went from 0% healed to 90% healed in about 6 weeks. Basically medically impossible.
But I knew better. :)
"Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows."
So now, exactly a year from the most painful (physically... emotionally... spiritually...) experience of my life, I'm sitting in my apartment wrapped up in my Snuggie while watching old Christmas movies and eating my weight in homemade Baklava from my friends from work, and so thankful for renewed perspective and its affect on my circumstance.
As always, Life ain't easy- but it's so good.