The first time I got on the plane for Bulgaria, it was a climax of months and months of anticipation. This time, however, I couldn't help but feel this incrediblly conflicting surge of excitement, fear, (insanity?), peace, and unreadiness. I mean, for so long I was told to basically forget my dreams of being a Peace Corps Volunteer and settled for my three months as a Trainess and (barely... not really even...) three months as an actual volunteer.
I started job and apartment hunting when my surgeon told me that, "if we don't see any signs of healing 6 months after the injury, we'll start considering other options." I found myself indescribably addicted to PetFinder.com's puppy listings. I'd made my decision - I was going to stay.
Then I traveled to Bulgaria with my parents in April to say my last goodbyes to the country and people I had grown to love so very much.
And everything changed.
My heart. My optimism. My mindset.
And low and behold, my HEALING process.
It was a miracle, really. To go from not healing at all to MINIMAL signs of healing to about 90% healed in about 6 weeks? Nothing short of a miracle. God definitely had His hand in this whole thing.
Many administrative and bureacratic headaches later, I found myself on a plane strapped next to a guy who had a story for everything. At least he warned me about how loud and persistent his snoring was before he fell asleep for the last 6 hours of our trip.
I said goodbye to the family and friends I had grown to appreciate more than ever, but only to finish the journey I was blessed to have started over a year before.
Now I am sitting back in the same apartment struggling with a tad bit of deva ju, thankful for a incredibly painful broken leg (weeelllllll....) and everything God taught me in the last year about surrending who I want to be to be the person he created me to be.
And when the days are long and frustrating, lonely and cold, monotonous or crazily insane, I'll just remember the hugs and greetings from the Bulgarians and children here who's lives I get to be a part of everyday, and the family and friends I miss more than anything.