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Thursday, April 17, 2008

Have you ever just woken up in a total funk? Yesterday I opened my eyes around 8:00 feeling frustrated, agitated, and for some reason, overwhelmed. Great way to begin the day, huh? I meant what I said a few weeks ago about feeling so at peace about the uncertaintly of my future, even though this I've never felt this in the dark about what to expect before, but all of the sudden, everything caught up to me yesterday and I hit a brick wall.

I have so many things I am excited and passionate about, and I know God has big things in store for me (after all, how many of you have told me "God is grooming you for something big someday, Katie!), but my patience and peace seems to be running a little thin these last couple of days.

For the last 2 or 3 years, there hasn't been a doubt in my mind about the Peace Corps, and my summer plans have always fallen nicely into place. This summer, though, I may or may not be leaving the country for 27+ months sometime in June, July, August, or September (seriously? yup), I may or may not have a job with CSM this summer (don't even know if thats what God or I want should the position become available, I may or may not have any number of internships, job offers, and training opportunities along the mid atlantic coast line. So much of my future right now hinges on so much that I have absolutely zero control over. I can't seriously pursue Peace Corps (or anythingelse for that matter!) until Peace Corps makes up their mind about my LASIK surgery, I can't make summer plans until staffing here gets worked out (only should I decide this is where I need to stay), and yadda yadda yadda. Thats pretty much the way things are going right now.

All of the sudden I just feel so overwhelmed and out of control, and I can't do anything about it.

Alright God. This one's yours....

My parents asked me a little while ago where they could find me after graduation. Your guess is as good as mine!!

A bleeding heart on a tattered sleeve - she's got the weight of the world on her shoulders.

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