"If you weren't making an impact on the kingdom, then things wouldn't be so hard."

Pretty sure that is beginning to be my mantra. Sometimes I wonder (ok, a lot) why things have to be so hard, all the time. Yes, I understand that I really don't have anything to complain about. Nothing earth shattering ever happens (at least in retrospect that is true), but its the things that continue to pile up that really get to you.

In Bulgaria it was one thing after another (let's see, file a police report after an entirely too close of a call with a creep, a week later go back to the police station for follow up and have passport stolen -either in police station or in market on the way home, and then....), to the point where I culminated sitting on an airplane unshowered and unmedicated with a shattered lower leg and clothes many days old, and alternating between fits of laughter and a downpour of tears (no wonder no one talked to me except to give me that over the top look of sympathy).

For the last 8 months I have struggled with seeing the meaning of all this, and at least after co-directing last weeks extremely successful Bible Camp at my church (a record breaking 147 kids, 9 proffesions of faith, $700+ raised, 5 service projects, and SO much fun) I feel like I have accomplished something, but I still go through periods where I wonder, "what am I fighting for?" Should this all really be THIS hard?

The latest development - I jumped for joy yesterday when I handed over my passport to be expedited at the state department. "Success!!!"

I should have known better.

About 30 minutes ago I get a call saying, "since you have reported TWO passports stolen in the last few months, you will not be leaving the country any time soon, and will most likely have to answer to a higher authority."

Dangit.

I mean really. What is a higher authority anyway? Since I know God is not personifying himself through the State Department passport office (wouldnt that be nice....).....

And for the record, I only had one passport stolen. The new one was in the works when I broke my leg and was halted until last week when they said that it hadn't gotten far enough in the process to continue it. So start again. And now they think I lost two. But now I basically keep all important documents duct taped to my person. I learned my lesson. Pick pocketing CAN happen to you. But hopefully only once. But now I have to go speak to a "higher power" tomorrow. ?!?!?!? Ugh.

So now i go back down town to continue to fight the machine, and wonder how I lost a passport I never even owned in the first place. Good thing I'm local.