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Wednesday, March 26, 2008

I don’t think I’ve ever been as unsure about my future as I am right now.

I also don’t think I’ve ever been as relaxed and content about the unexpected as I am right now.

I’ve always enjoyed spontaneity, but I enjoy having a plan filled with ambitious dreams and goals. I’m one of those types who thrives on having my feet on the ground and my head in the clouds…

So many people graduate college with no concrete plans, and all of the sudden, {gasp} I AM ONE OF THEM!?!?!

For the last two years (at least), I have been planning on graduating a semester early, then joining the Peace Corps as soon as I walk across the stage in May. Don’t get me wrong – I haven’t made any official decisions regarding the next few years of my life, but the last few months have consisted of confusion and uncertainty about whether or not my heart still desires two+ years abroad.

On my drive up here to NYC, I received a call from my Peace Corps medical officer that they were going to defer me medically because I just had LASIK surgery in January. They had originally told me that as long as I had the surgery 6 months before I was scheduled to leave, they would keep processing my application. Well, as soon as I sent them the paperwork after the surgery that they had sent me when I first asked about it, they halted my application process. AND told me that my schedule departure date had moved up an entire month and a half (or three if you look at the possible September departure).

As frustrating as this was, it was a blessing in disguise. If I hadn’t been deferred, there was a good chance I could have received my invitation a month ago. Once you receive your invite, you have 2 weeks to make your ultimate decision. The unintended wait has given me time to explore and weigh my various possibilities.

And doors keep opening for me: I could keep my job with CSM through August, I have a cover letter and resume sitting on my bookshelf for an internship possibility in Manhattan, an interview possibility with Boys Town here in Brooklyn, and actually, as of yesterday, a totally random job offer to work here at housing church in Bay Ridge.

For the first time in my life, I would love for some of these doors to start closing!! I know God will use me wherever he sends me. I’m not sure about much, but I am sure that I have a heart for service, and whether it’s heading off to Eastern Europe, staying here to serve with adults and youth in Alphabet City, or going somewhere else altogether, I am so excited to see where I am being called.

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