Great News!!

At my doctor's appointment yesterday (almost 5 months since the accident), my surgeon predicted that barring any unforeseen circumstances, he will probably clear me for service at my next visit in 8 weeks!!

Even to the untrained eye, my newest set of x-rays looked AMAZING. The huge gap that has existed since the surgery between a previously nonunion bone shard and my shin is almost entirely closed – huge progress since even the last appointment. He says at this point, I am probably close to 90% healed, and the other 10% will take some time since strengthening is such a huge part of the healing process. I impatiently waited for my doctor to leave the examining room so I could do a happy dance.

So, I've been in touch with the Peace Corps through email, and now I am waiting to hear if there is anything I can do now to start the reinstatement process back to my post, or if we need to wait until I get the official clearance in a couple months.

Regardless, my hope is to be back in Samokov by the end of September! And I'm thrilled. :)

My core group kids from NGO Svetlina!

Bulgaria!

The entire 7 days in Crete, not to mention a significant time before we even left the country, I spent in anxious anticipation about my brief return to Bulgaria. What if I couldn't remember any of the language? What if I realized that it wasn't where I was supposed to be for the next two years? What if it WAS where I want/am supposed to be, but the doctor deems my return impossible? I wasn't sure how people would react to our time there, being that I have officially been away from Samokov for longer than I served there.

When we landed at the airport in Sofia, I felt overwhelmed and nervous. More so than I thought I would...

But God worked in my heart incredibly quickly, and I have rarely felt as loved as I did throughout that week.

We spent the first couple of nights in Sofia hanging out with the American family that invited me over for holidays (yes, also the people who rescued me after my accident and let me camp out on their couch for a couple days!), and explored the capital a little bit. I got to catch up with some good friends, but the most encouraging part of the visit was stopping to grab some coffee with a few of my Peace Corps B-24 team members at Starbucks (yeah yeah, haha!) before my parents and I drove to Plovdiv for the night. Seeing as many volunteers as I did was a bit of a surprise, but it meant the world that so many were able to work out the timing and see me! Everyone tells you that your training groups will turn into your surrogate family for your time of service, and I can attest that it made my day to see them! They were so encouraging, and I loved hearing about their new projects and stories. Was definitely the beginning of a big heart change for me. At that point, I was still using the "IF I come back phrase" when I talked to them, but by the time we made it to my site in Samokov, things started to really come into focus.

We spent one night in the city of Plovdiv (very cool, very OLD city in south/central Bulgaria) where we ate some good food (and some not so good, ;P) and wandered around a bit to find the coliseaum and other arhaeological sites.

The next morning, we hopped in the car, got lost trying to find the road to Samokov - still don't know how we managed to miss it! - then finally headed over the mountain through Borovets and into my town. As soon as we parked the car in front of the basketball arena where I would go every other weekend or so to watch basketball games, I felt this huge relief. It felt SO GOOD and natural to take my parents to my apartment building, to point out my vegetable man (and my back up vegetable man) and various stores. We then drove through the town a bit and then got my parent's checked into their hotel.

Then we fell asleep.

All of the pent up anxiety hit me then! So we read and slept for awhile before meeting my two Bulgarian counterparts in the apartment for dinner. For the next few hours, we ate (sooo much food!), sipped on "domashna vino" (homemade wine), told stories, caught up, and LAUGHED. And wow, I haven't laughed that hard in a long time! The conversation ran so smoothly and everything was so natural, and my parents were beaming as we interacted with my "Bulgarian moms."

The next day we went to the Samokov market, satisfied my craving for Banitsa (a Bulgarian pastry with cheese and phyllo dough), and stocked up on goodies to take back to the US before heading over to the school to meet up with my kids.

As SOON as I walked into the schoolyard, I got a welcoming I had never expected: most of my core kids were outside in the school yard, and proceeded to charge at me and yell "Kaaatttiiieeeee." I got huge hugs, and then smiled on so proudly when they all introduced themselves to my parents IN ENGLISH!!! We went inside to talk to everyone, since happy birthday to one of my girls, have a guessing game about my parents (mom's in her 30s apparentls... and dad is 100!), and dole out American candy before dancing the Bulgarian horo and them playing outside with new footballs, frisbees, and basketballs that we had brought them.

Seeing these kids - MY KIDS - was definitely the last piece of the puzzle that helped remind me why I signed up for the Peace Corps in the first place, and why my heart broke when I had to leave so suddenly. I experienced a couple of months of frustration before my accident as I struggled to find my role, but being there again solidifyed it in my heart that I want to do what it takes to go back. And now I have a specific desire so I can pray discerningly, and I ask you do the same. :)

My beautiful Rila mountains, still covered in snow at the end of April! There was a good few inches on the ground in Samokov the morning we got there, but it quickly melted away in the Spring sun.

The kids were excited to teach my parents the Bulgarian horo, and were amazed when they already knew the step! They did cheat... its the same step they learned on Crete the week before! Shhhh, don't tell.

On our way back from Samokov, we stopped to see my host parents for a little "na gosti" in my training village. It was so great to see them! We ate a delicious Bulgarian meal, met all the new animal babies (including three day old kittens!), and then took a quick walking tour of Kraynitsi before before returning for coffee and saying our goodbyes. I was so glad it worked out to see them, and even more relieved that although my Bulgarian hasn't improved in the last 4 and a half months, I was still able to communicate clearly and translate for my parents.

Svetla and Kiril!

Beautiful Crete!

We have been home from vacation for a week already! It's funny, normally we spend a week at the beach somewhere, and it is NEVER enough time! This trip to Greece and Bulgaria was such a whirlwind, but I was soooo relieved to be home by the end of our 2 week excursion.

Exhaustion aside, though, the whole thing was absolutely incredible.

After THREE connecting flights to get there, we spent the first week on the island of Crete, and I have decided that it is a perfect vacation spot. For a girl who is torn between the side of her that wants to be a city girl and the side that wants to move to the mountains and own a goat, it is an ideal location. You have developed cities along the coastline, but as you travel inland or up into the mountains, you pass through tiny, beautiful villages (goats, good food, and all!).

We spent one day by the pool, but aside from that, most of the week was spent exploring local villages, taking drives, getting fed by the locals (yummmmm) and enjoying the beautiful country side.

The weather while we were there was extremely mild. I spent most of it in jeans and short sleeve tshirts, but enjoyed the occasional crisp breeze. The sun was ALWAYS out, but it was fun to see the snow capped mountains as we drove through the windy back roads.

I loved that the music and dancing native to Crete and Greece was so familiar after my time in Bulgaria. We attended the Cretan Meal and Entertainment our first night at the hotel, but on our day by the pool I was able to snap some better pictures of the dancing.

Although I probably shouldn't have pushed myself :), we SLOWLY hiked up to the cave where Zeus was born (its true!!), and immediately got offered a "taxi ride." I'll admit! It was very tempting!

We spent one evening out on the coast line sipping on drinks as the lone customer at a little tiki bar, patiently waiting for the sun to set over the coastal ridgeline. GORGEOUS!

More to come about the second leg on our trip to Bulgaria!

For my Christmas present (a mere two days before my accident), my parents sent me a "gift certificate" for a week in Crete, Greece, followed by a few days as tour guide around my town in Samokov.

When everything changed after a few hours of skiing, it became apparent that I would no longer be in Bulgaria when this spring vacation arrived. Instead of canceling the trip altogether, we decided to hold out and see if I would be feeling well enough to still travel.

After a few months of frustration and waiting with bated breath, we leave for two weeks TODAY!

I never even got to go back to my apartment after the accident, so I sure didn't get to say goodbye to anyone. If I manage to heal 100% and return to my post within the next 9 months or so to finish my service with the Peace Corps, then my parents will have gotten to meet some of my friends, coworkers and children over there, and if God has other plans and ushers me in another direction, then at least they will have gotten to see a little bit of what I was blessed with for 5 and a half months.

No matter what, this is going to be a relaxing vacation complete with some more healing and family time, and a great chance to play tour guide with my parents in a country I miss desperately.

Hopefully, though, I will be able to remember enough Bulgarian to help my non-Bulgarian speaking parents and non-English speaking friends communicate on some level!

Довиждане за сега!

Camp Project for NGO Svetlina (Samokov, Bulgaria)

Dear friends and family,

    First of all, I want to thank you for your fervent prayer and support as I continue to heal after my skiing accident in late December. It breaks my heart that my work in Bulgaria with the United States Peace Corps was brought to such an abrupt end, and my hope is that even if my path does not lead back to Association Svetlina in Samokov, Bulgaria within the next year, I can still find a way to be a source of encouragement for the children and my Bulgarian and Peace Corps friends there.

    During my short time in the small Eastern European country of Bulgaria, I served as a youth development volunteer and focused on efforts of integration and empowerment among underrepresented youth from high-risk environments. More specifically, I was hosted by a progressive non-governmental organization run by two Bulgarian women with a heart for Roma/Gypsy youth. Each day after school, we lead English, art, and Bulgarian lessons, environmental appreciation activities, game days, and sporting endeavors. Many of the Roma youth drop out of school by the time they reach high school, and marry and start a family soon thereafter, and Association Svetlina encourages academic and social achievement while still aiming to preserve Roma culture.

    My biggest concern after my accident was that the staff at my organization would be unable, due to language barriers, to write the grant to receive funding for our yearly summer camp. "Camp Together We Can Do More," is run entirely by Association Svetlina, and breaches cultural road blocks by inviting equal numbers of Bulgarian and Roma youth to work, learn, and play together for ten days on the Black Sea. Summer camp is a relatively new idea in Bulgaria, not to mention the concept of integrating youths from both ethnic backgrounds is essentially unheard of, and I was greatly anticipating the opportunity to watch the walls of ethnic tension continue to crumble. Another volunteer from a neighboring village in Bulgaria had helped with Association Svetlina's summer camp last year, and she volunteered to assist with the grant writing process when I became unable.

    Even though I will not be able to assist directly with "Camp Together We Can Do More," I would like to do whatever I can to assist the children of Samokov in whatever capacity I am able. For now, this means extending to you the opportunity to become financially and prayerfully invested in this summer program by visiting the following website: https://www.peacecorps.gov/index.cfm?shell=resources.donors.contribute.projDetail&projdesc=313-120

Donating through the Peace Corps website allows your contribution to go straight to supporting "Camp Together We Can Do More," and is tax-deductible. Thank you so much for supporting me so faithfully through your thoughts and prayers, but on behalf of the children and staff of Association Svetlina, thank you for your support of social development in Samokov and Bulgaria at large.

 

Katie Filkins
(On Behalf of NGO Svetlina)

Oh… and I'm driving. J

"Experience: that most brutal of teachers. But you learn, my God do you learn."
- CS Lewis -

 

A couple Sundays ago, I was able to steal a few moments of quality catch-up time with one of my favorite college students. I've known her for years, and have valued her friendship since we met towards the end of her freshman year of high school and my last, but over the last few years the physical distance between us has granted very few solid heart to heart conversations.

After walking into the fellowship service a few moments late, I found myself immensely distracted by the preceding chat.

It wasn't that we had discussed an earth shattering or especially thought provoking topic, yet her sheer honesty as she examined herself and commented on her own reactions and views on her world right now was absolutely incredible. We've always traded the "spot light" in our time together, but this time I just listened. And grew a bit jealous at her ability to be so genuine.

This is something I have struggled with for many, many years, especially when I work with youth. I fool myself into thinking that that my extra years (….) of experience and retrospect give me some leg up on life. Ha.

My heart has always gravitated towards arenas of service and ministry, and the recurring lesson I have always struggled to learn is not just to give, but to be ready and open to receive (and most often the intangible). Whether you are handing out sandwiches, scrubbing a floor with Brillo pads, or building intentional relationships, it's not always what you have to offer, but what you will take away from any particular exchange or experience.

As I listened to this beautiful girl talk, I envied her ability to just be HONEST.

Something I haven't done since my accident more than three months ago.

Every time I get approached at church by a loved one or curious individual, I put on the "happy face." The one that says I have everything under control and I'm doing ok. The one that since I laughed my way across the ocean with a broken leg won me the title of "trooper." The one that falsely reflects the courage, strength, and faith that people admire.

So maybe for the first time since I got home from my dream job, I'm going to be honest.

I'm terrified. I'm angry. I'm lonely. I'm restless. I'm frustrated. I'm hurting. I'm confused.

But you all knew this long before I did.

 

And I'm going to be ok.

Yesterday I snuck outside in between spontaneous rain showers and installed brand new, Hawaiin print seat covers into Pleakley in hopes that at my doctor's appointment today I will get the go ahead to get behind the wheel again!

Here's to hoping!

The good news is that my appointment a month ago went extremely well, and it was the first time I could abandon my every other week visit to my doctor's office to get xrays and a new "apparatus." A whole month has gone by since we began to see some improvement in my bone healing process(ok, WE didn't see anything… the trained expert did!), so the idea is that with the bone stimulator having a month to do its thing, and I'm most of the way weight baring, today should help us start (key word…) to pin down a timeline to when I can start seriously considering all of the ideas and decisions incessantly rolling around in this "big head" of mine!

Again, here's to hoping. J

Today being a rather chilly exception, we have had some absolutely beautiful days here in Northern Virginia! I would give anything to get behind the wheel on a sunny day, roll down the windows of my neglected vehicle, turn on some Amos Lee or Dave Barnes, and spend the day watching my black lab chase tennis balls into the water as we walk along the canal trail in Great Falls.

But it's been 8 months now since I've gotten my hands on the steering wheel, and we're not quite there yet.

No telling when it will be, but I'll give fair warning when it's time to share the road with me again!

"Dreamin" by Amos Lee

My soul is as open as the sky.
Often time it's just as blue.
People tell me I need to keep on dreamin'.
That's just what I'm gonna do.

Now everybody wanna treat me like a house fly.
Turn me around and tell me to shoo.
Wanna tell me keep on dreamin'.
That's just what I'm gonna do.

'Cause every moral has a story.
Every hand needs a glow.
Sometimes it's full of glory.
Oh, but mostly, it's for the love.
It's the love... Mmm..

It's the love.
It's the love that pulls me through.
'Cause when they tell me keep on dreamin'.
Thats just what I'm, I'm gonna, thats just what I'm gonna do.

For nine weeks, I have wanted nothing more than to feel 22 again.

I've been under this confliction of feeling absolutely ancient physically (down to even currently possessing - and sometimes using - a cane), while also seeming to have the life status of an early high schooler (one who can't even drive).

I went from extreme independence in Europe with my dream job, to this absolute uncertainty about when I will be able to live on my own or drive myself somewhere again.

Undoubtedly, I'm supposed to be learning some great lesson here… but other than the obvious one's involving patience and trust, I'm still at a loss. I'll keep you posted. :)

Anyway, I FINALLY have some good and encouraging news about my recovery!!

Since my injury, my leg hasn't showed any signs of healing. Normally, a non-union fracture is most common in life-long smokers, people of advanced age or individuals with osteoporosis, those suffering from extreme obesity, and people who have lived a sedentary lifestyle for years.

And then there is me. A 22 year old who was obviously active enough to break her leg skiing.

Go figure.

At any rate, at my doctor's appointment this week, my xrays finally indicated some new bone growth! Very little, so it will still be a lengthy recovery, but bone growth just the same! I left the doctor's office cast-less with a walking boot and permission to start bearing weight as soon as I was ready. I also received a bone stimulator device that should help my body heal itself faster.

So, I still have a long time of recovery ahead of me, but at least we are starting to head in the right direction!

Time to admit defeat… er… reality…

It's been a little under a month and a half since my dramatic and not-so-valiant return to the good ole US of A, and I think it is way past time to catch everyone up on the epic that is my life right now… utilizing a straight forward and to the point technique that we will call the "Reader's Digest Version" -

I am officially no longer a Peace Corps Volunteer.

Ok, I guess I do owe a little more of an explanation… Right after I broke my leg and was sent home, I was given up to 45 days of medical evacuation status to recover and return to my post back in Bulgaria. When I went to my follow up appointment with my doctor 2 weeks after surgery, I was told that I had to go from putting 50% of my weight on my leg, to not being able to put ANY weight on my leg. Basically, (again, if you want the long, gory details – ASK) when my leg broke it splintered at the break site, so the main part of my leg is now secured with internal hardware, but there is a "shard" of bone that is not showing any signs of healing. I am back in a real cast and still on crutches, and hoping for some better answers this coming Wednesday. What all this means, though, is that when I back-pedaled on the prognosis, it meant I wouldn't be able to start physical therapy any time soon, thus definitely extending my recovery well past my allotted 45 days. So per protocol, Peace Corps had to go ahead and medically separate me not even 6 measly months into my dream job.

So, now I need to figure out what "Plan B" for my life is, considering it never even crossed my mind I might need one.

Contrary to popular belief, I'm not out to save the world, but I am on this earth to do what I can to change it, and this mandated couch surfing is driving me crazy!

But, it does mean I have PLENTY of time to figure out what my next adventure will be. (Silver lining?)

 

The worst part, though, is that not only is my dream of being a Peace Corps volunteer and working with my Samokov kids over, but at the end of the day, I STILL HAVE A BROKEN LEG!!

But even though my faith has been tested, my patience has dwindled, and my passion is in dire need of being reignited, I'm trying to trust that something better is coming.

It has to.

1 Lift Ticket Up the Mountain = 1 broken leg & 1 Ticket back to the US

That's all it took… I am officially writing this from the comfort of my Fairfax, Virginia couch.

A week ago today (whoa – so much has happened in the last 7 days), I was out christening the beautiful Rila Mountains in which I live with a short day ski trip with my good Bulgarian friend and her family. We drove the less than half an hour to Maliovitsa where you can buy a lift ticket for about $4 for the entire day. I wasn't planning on skiing, just enjoying the gorgeous natural snow everywhere (I did go to college in NC the last four years… this amount of snow is more than just a foreign concept for me). I took one look at the snow-capped trees and the freshly powdered runs, and couldn't resist. Not to mention the fact that there were only two runs to choose from, and both of them very doable in my book.

Now, keep in mind… I am not the world's greatest skier, BUT, I am a comfortable skier and have been at least a dozen times without as much as bruising anything. The lifts in Maliovitsa are pole lifts, and you have to put the pole between your legs and allow it to drag you up the mountain without applying too much weight. I had no problem navigating the easy run, so after numerous runs, I gave the lift on the main run a try. No go. Walk of shame back down the mountain…

Eli and went for a walk through the beginning of the Rila National Park, and then I geared up to take one last run 15 minutes before the lifts closed.

They think the sun went down just enough to ice up the run a little bit.

Conditions were just different enough a couple hours later that right over the top of the run my right knee skidded out on some ice just enough to wrench it uncomfortably. The pain in my knee caused me to go down the rest of the way, where the bindings on my knee didn't separate.

I broke both my tibia and my fibula, and the bindings were so tight they actually had to remove my ski AND my boot in order to untwist my right leg.

Even longer story short, it took over an hour to actually get off the mountain, and another few hours to get back to the emergency hospital in Sofia. I spent the next two nights in Sofia with some American friends (SUCH a blessing!), then was on the first flight out on Monday morning. I flew Sofia to Amsterdam, then to Detroit, and finally to DC where a Peace Corps nurse was waiting to help me get straight to the hospital. Originally my surgery was scheduled for Wednesday, but after an x-ray that revealed my break was worse than anyone thought, they moved it up to Tuesday.

I now have a titanium rod holding my leg together, and am recovering at home in my parent's house.

I have 45 days of recovery to return to my post as simply a Medevac volunteer, but barring a miracle, the doctor is looking at more 3-6 months. I do have a year to apply to be reinstated back in my site in Bulgaria, but right now I am trying to patiently pray and await direction on what all this means, and if I really do have to make some big decisions here soon.

 

I wanted to let my "blog" world know that I am NOT in Bulgaria right now, but I am recovering and praying for direction. If you are in the Fairfax area, please let me know and come visit!

Merry Christmas!!

Весела Коледа!!

A very Merry Christmas to you and yours from
BULGARIA!!






"And the first time that you opened Your eyes, did you realize that You would be my Savior?
And the first breath that left Your lips, did You know that it would change this world forever?

And I celebrate the day
That You were born to die
So I could one day pray for You to save my life

PRAY FOR YOU TO SAVE MY LIFE."

For Thanksgiving, I tried to make my grandmother's fudge pecan, but due to a serious of unfortunate kitchen compensation attempts, it was a no go. It would have tasted fine, but I tried to make one GIANT pie instead of two little ones (because I lacked the necesassary pie plates/pans), and it just wouldn't cook right. Very soupy - not transportable on public buses.

But after telling my two Bulgarian counterparts about said pie, they made me promise I would make it for them one night. So last night, I went to Mariana's apartment for dinner with the much anticipated pie in tow. Yet again, my oven cooked it kind of funky (half was PERFECT, the other half a little undone...) but as far as I knew it was edible.

Not only did the pie turn out absolutely delicious (yummmm), but it was the first na gosti (a noun and a verb in Bulgarian that describes visiting friends or family) I had attended where I was 100% involved in the conversation, 100% of the time.

It was fantastic!!

I'm finally finding a sense of humor in Bulgarian (my saving grace: and only 5 months in - not bad!), and the converation just flowed. If I didn't understand something, time was taken to explain it a different way, and then we pressed on.

It was definitely an exhausting evening, but not as exhausting as it used to be!

Малко по малко - little by little, making progress! :)

Katie = Pavlov's Dog

In the US, I could care LESS about McDonald's. I have no opposition to it, but I could go months (longer?) without giving it a second thought...

But here? As soon as I get on that bus from Samokov to Sofia, my mouth starts watering.

It's sad... really.


And this exit sign is the ONLY indication from the outside that this McDonald's is not on the corner of Rt 236 and Pickett in Fairfax!





(Hey Abby! While I'm mentioning international fast food chains, maybe I should bring up my internet, my INDOORS bathroom, my personal hot water heater, and the three supermarkets within 10 minutes walk from my OWN apartment... yeah, see - I can hit below the belt too. Although, my Peace Corps experience sometimes lacks some of the things I specifically signed up for... sigh, hehe. LOVE YOU!)

This is exactly what I pay my friends for:

"Remember that you prayed for guidance when you made the decision to join the peace corps, so instead of projecting to an uncertain destination, center yourself in the present - as the future is just an expansion of now!!"

Thanks Danny! Its funny how emails of encouragement always seem to come at EXACTLY the perfect time. So keep them coming! I promise to write back. :)

Seriously though... I have been in this constant spiral of forgetting why I came here in the first place, but in addition to having some of the greatest friends and family members back home supporting me every step of the way, I've found myself growing less and less stressed out even though things are still kind of crazy.

Jumping through hoops to get my new passport (and eventually my Bulgarian ID) is proving to be a bit of a challenge, but its helping me realize how incredibly awesome my two counterparts here are. I work with two women at my organization, who are both full time teachers yet also pouring their hearts into Svetlina (my organization). They are tired and burned out, but managing to laugh the entire time as we walk - yet AGAIN - back to the police station for more paperwork (it was only like the 5th time today in about two weeks). I'm finally finding my sense of humor in Bulgarian with Katia and Mariana, so as much as I did NOT want to show my face back at the police station, the three of us rolled in laughter as I went about complaining.

Cause what I am I trying so desperately to learn here?

Sometimes it's more important to change your perspective rather than your circumstance.

This weekend I went back to my training village for the day on Saturday. I needed to pick up my personal passport (which I need for my paperwork and for some reason left in Kraynitsi), but I also thought it would be nice to have a short visit with my host parents. I brought them Merry Cherry Bars, a few tomatoes (remember? They disappeared in the villages months ago... but I can buy them in Samokov!), and paper napkins with Christmas trees on them. After a delicious homemade lunch (I forgot how good Svetla's meals were), an incredible ego boost on how fast they think my Bulgarian is improving (ha, had them fooled!! :)), I caught the bus back to Samokov with a bag full of potatoes, apples, Rakia (Bulgarian moonshine...), and the homemade wine that I helped harvest grapes for this summer. All in all it was a good visit! Other than the fact that all of my geese and rabit friends are gone, there are considerably fewer chickens, and Bessie the pig met her maker a few days ago. О боже... the reality of village life hit!

Sunday I spent a much needed mental health day around the apartment with my wild child kitten, and then my roommate from PC training events passed through the hang out with me for the night.

And to top it all off... today was the first English lesson with my core kids that DIDN'T make me want to extract my teeth one by one. I caught their attention without bribing them (go figure), I didn't feel incredibly inadequate language wise (see what an ego boost can do?), and I actually occupied a whole hour (yeah - all I have to survive is 60 minutes) without mercilessly stretching out the last 15 minutes or so. It was great. We practiced the Latin alphabet (Bulgarian is all Cyrillic), reviewed our colors, learned some numbers, and then put it all to use by playing UNO. It was great!

Its those small victories that are helping me get through the day. Like, there is this one little boy at "Trust Me" (day center for kids with disabilities) who has severe autism and is in a wheelchair. They have trouble keeping him focuses because he can't communicate verbally and will just throw fits. Usually they wheel him around the entire time... every day when I walk in I give him my heartiest "Hello Mitko!" in Bulgarian, and everyday I get no response. Until last week... when I gave him my usual greeting, waited a second or two, and then found my place with my buddy Ivo. After a 5 second delay, I hear "Sttttrraaaazzzsssttttiiiii" coming from little Mitko!

Completely made my day, and for just long enough I forgot about the creepy guy on the bridge, the nervewracking photo line up at the police station, and realized my wallet/passport had been stolen.

I forgot just long enough to remember to thank God for being my Saving Grace and for bringing me here.

James 1:26-27 -
Anyone who sets himself up as "religious" by talking a good game is self-deceived. This kind of religion is hot air and only hot air. Real religion, the kind that passes muster before God the Father, is this: Reach out to the homeless and loveless in their plight, and guard against corruption from the godless world.

I have this problem -

When I get frustrated, I can't understand a lick of Bulgarian.

Which is kind of a big deal when you live in a foreign country and the world already seems to spin on without you anyway.

Today I met up with one of my counterparts and headed into Sofia to FINALLY pick up my Bulgarian ID. When we got there, the little fear I had that this was going to be a challenge since I no longer have my Peace Corps Passport came true... Sure enough - my ID Card is linked to my PC Passport and Visa, and since I had to report them stolen, I wasn't able to pick up my ID card. Turns out, that all of the info on my ID card matches the Passport that no longer exists, so now not only do I have to jump through hoops to get my new Passport (I thought since I never had to do anything in person the first time that it would be that easy... I was wrong - really its not that big of a deal, everything is just amplified here), but once I have it, I have to apply alllllll over again for a Bulgarian ID card. And considering I started this process the week after I got to Samokov, and this is the first week it was ready for pick-up... yippee.

At any rate, hence my frustration.

I spent the rest of the day hanging out in Sofia with my counterpart, her daughter, and her daughter's boyfriend, and barely even hearing all of the Bulgarian going on around me. I am getting to the point where I can usually understand conversations I am directly involved in (usually greatly relying on context) and can SOMETIMES pick out enough words in other people's conversations to get a general meeting, but today... I was tired. I was frustrated. And EVERYTHING was a challenge. Especially trying to understand anything in an all Bulgarian environment (and for a good part of the day we were at a graduation ceremony for a Bulgarian college). So I pretty much gave up trying in drifted off into my own world.

After an exhausting day, I was with Ascen on the way home in the car after dropping off my counterpart, and asked him where he lived since he said it was close to me.

I asked in Bulgarian.

He answered in Bulgarian.

It was quiet for a minute.

And then he says....

"We can talk in English now."






.........................

When it rains... it pours.

But holding out for the moments of sunshine make things so much better...

Things have been a bit on the crazy and frustrating side lately... last week I had a run in with a creep while out for a walk near my apartment building (rest assured - I am fine... nothing ended up happening), and the police called me back into the department yesterday to show me pictures of possible suspects. Last week when I made the initial report, I became very clued in to the reality of the ethnic issues here in Samokov - as hard as I tried to convince them that the individual was of Bulgarian decent, they kept trying to help me "remember" that he was Roma. I did finally convince them, or so I thought, because yesterday they showed me about 10 photos, and 8 of them were Roma men, one looked so Roma that me, my counterpart, and the detectives assistant all mistook him for such, and the last guy was about 15 years too young. Long story short, I think that they are taking this seriously because he was Bulgarian, and they can't dismiss it as just another "gypsy" incident, but I was just hoping this whole thing would go away when I reported it. Anyway, yesterday when I left the police department, I realized my wallet was missing. I had it when I fought with my counterpart over who was going to pay for lunch, and then we walked together to the police station, and I never touched it. I don't want to believe someone could have lifted it (and I don't know how that could have happened), but I never took it out of my purse, and my bag is too deep for it to just fall out. I am beyond confused.... pretty much everything is replacable (with some effort), but being that it wound be back at the police department for a completely different event within an hour after addressing something else, I am convince the police here (who made up some of my favorite people in DC and Burlington), probably hate me. And with good reason. I am only proving that this 22 year old American girl can't take care of herself. Sometimes I get sick of getting tested. For once, I would like it to just be EASY. But apparently my life doesn't work that way. Never really has.... **sigh**



On a much more encouraging note... two good friends of mine from Sofia came to hang out with me and my kids today. I had made contact with a missionary family here before I left the US, but I never expected to be blessed by the further connections. This is the oldest son in the family and Allison, who is staying (only for a couple more days!!) with them for part of her gap year before she starts college in the fall. The kids LOVED them, and I think Allison and Jordan got a kick of their 2 hours of rock star status. :)




We spent the time with the kids decorating the organization for Christmas. The kids played with tinsel and garland and decorated two awesome trees. The holiday appeal drew about 20 extra kids I had never met before, and after a little decorating contest, we enjoyed chocolate chip cookies from Allison and Jordan, then played volleyball outside with some of the older kids. It was a lot of fun to have some extra help and just enjoy a relaxing time.





And now... I no longer have to come back to a quiet, empty apartment!!

Meet Maitap!!

In Bulgarian, "maitap" (mайтап) means "fun" or "joke," and this little troublemaker is a four month old who in one short hour, officially mastered how to climb my drapes... literally. As a matter of fact, there she goes again... :)